Life Is A Beach......

Fishy Tales. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (16 hours old)

I've been looking at my goldfish recently and wondering whether I should buy him a little buddy to keep him company. I mean, it's got to be pretty boring in his tank, swimming about, day after day, th… more

The Eleventh Hour Of The Eleventh Day Of The Eleventh Month. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (16 hours old)

If Remembrance Day gives us anything, it's the headache-inducing clarity that war is a terrible, wasteful pursuit. But there's something about the grimy, wholesale horror of the Great War that may… more

And The Cow Jumped Over The... Frank. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (5 days old)

Europa. Io. Triton. Titan. Ariel. Charon. It's odd how we've bothered to name the moons of all the other planets in our Solar System but our one? Oh no. The Moon. That's it. Named after a bare bum… more

The Repellent Face Of Attractiveness. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (5 days old)

It's funny, get two conspicuously good-looking people of the same sex in the same room at the same time, and, more often than not, they won't know how to relate to each other. It's like the 'who's-the… more

Alternative Film Reviews - Vacancy (2007) From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (6 days old)

Imagine you knew someone called Nimrod? You wouldn't expect a lot from that person, would you? I mean, it's become a synonym for goofball. I dunno, just a thought. Anyway, I wasn't expecting a l… more

In fact, that's just so shit... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (7 days old)

How the fuck else am I supposed to tag "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"??????? Its the name of the fucking film. God I am pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not chance am I paying for this a… more

Destroy my blog history please! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (7 days old)

Some of the tags that have been deleted were very important to me. Especially the Tess ones, but hey thanks for doing this bcuk! And to be informed in a message WITHOUT links to the blogs so I can… more

A Round The Twist. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (8 days old)

According to a new NHS advisory poster, Alcohol Misuse now costs the country £2.7 billion a year. That doesn't make sense. Alcohol Misuse? What are people doing with it? Washing their cars? Listen,… more

Don't Believe The Hyphen. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (10 days old)

With the growing cult of celebrity in this country, I really think it's time we all just got past it and had a celebration. Wait a second, I'm missing a hyphen there. A celeb-ration. One a year.… more

What I Wouldn't Give My Right Arm For. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (12 days old)

I stayed up the other night to watch the UFC 103 Main Event between light-heavyweight kingpin Lyoto Machida and his challenger, Muay Thai specialist Mauricio Shogun Rua. I was buzzing with anticipa… more

The Mer-Man. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (14 days old)

I've just signed up to David Lloyd, the uber-swish health club, and, you know, it feels like I belong... sniff... But the deciding factor was the plush swimming pool. It's curious how that came … more

Sometimes Men Are From Venus Too. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (15 days old)

I had a catch-up this morning with a candid, young gay colleague about our respective weekends and let's just say there was a marked difference between the two... For instance, I couldn't be bother… more

Allegoric Algebra. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (16 days old)

It's funny how people equate shoe size with genital size. Because, actually, one of the two is always padded out with socks... You wouldn't accept that with the Other.… more

For The Record. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (17 days old)

Westlife have now apparently tied with the Beatles for the most consecutive Numbers 1s. They actually surpass the Fab Four by having the most entries at Number 1. Good for them! Really... Y… more

Get in!!!! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (17 days old)

*punches the air six times* Well it's funny how even though I have been incredibly hung over all day, the footy manages to cheer me up! Fresh as a daisy now me lol. We battered Man Utd and proved… more

Alternative Film Reviews - State Of Play (2009) From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (17 days old)

State Of Play is a complex political thriller about murder and high corruption in the American corridors of power. Directed by Kevin Macdonald, he of Last King Of Scotland fame (fame's probably ov… more

Alternative Film Reviews - Drag Me To Hell (2009) From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (18 days old)

Drag Me To Hell is a vibrant Sam Raimi horror that bears all the hallmarks of the auteur behind the Evil Dead, Darkman and Spider-man films. With a contemporary setting, it's a film that follows C… more

Alternative Film Reviews - Vanishing Point (1971) From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (18 days old)

It's curious, in the past fortnight I've watched District 9, Drag Me To Hell, Michael Clayton, State Of Play and the superlative In The Loop, yet here I am, writing a review for an obscure car chase m… more

Sometimes You Need To Take A Little Back. From Mr-Malark in Mr Malark (18 days old)

I sponsored a child in the Third World at the weekend but, well, I'm still waiting for him to run a half-marathon in a chicken suit, so... I'm not giving him anything.… more

I know you have swine flu but.... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (18 days old)

Having no money on your phone is a very lame excuse for me being stranded in Rigbys drinking beer alone. How much is a text these days? The beer is really nice mind you...… more

Well today is a milestone day... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (19 days old)

But I didn't realise it was until a couple of hours ago. I've been married for 6 months today!!! It's a miracle!!!! Ok maybe not quite a miracle but it feels like it was only last month (I wont say… more

Freaking me out... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (26 days old)

Just signed into Windows Live Messenger and got the message "You are now signed in from two places, your messages will be seen at both these places". WHAT????? Is this new? Where is the other pl… more

You know you've eaten too much popcorn when you start pooing like a rabbit!! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (27 days old)

Gosh if I never see popcorn again I'll be happy. I've been to the cinema so much lately though, I guess this is the consequence of such. Mind you, the films were rather good!! District 9 Surroga… more

Thought of the day.... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (28 days old)

I watched Couples Retreat tonight, and by doing the Seven Deadly Sins thing in my last post it got me thinking... Is masturbating whilst married a sin even if you're thinking of your spouse? I'm… more

Stolen Deadly Sins thingy.... (guess I'm not so deadly anymore) From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (28 days old)

Greed: Medium Gluttony: Medium Wrath: Medium Sloth: Medium Envy: Medium Lust: Medium Pride: Medium Discover … more

Pet names... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (30 days old)

So I had a dream about pet names for some reason. I can't exactly remember the dream but this morning it got me wondering what peoples pet names are for their partners or kids. I have to venture o… more

Beating all my old high scores! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (30 days old)

(Click pic to play)… more

Nice to know I've still got it! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (30 days old)

Yep I'm still a freak... (Click my score to play)… more

This is probably the funniest advert on tv right now... From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (30 days old)

At least I think so anyways...… more

My God this is amazing!!! From MagicalMysteryTour ^Pro in MAgical mySTERy tour... (32 days old)

In the end it says "Together Always"… more